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Do you choose your friends?

Posted by footiam • 6/04/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: choices, friends, friendship

Or do befriend any Tom, Dick and Harry?

User Comments

6/04/09

jafabrit

Usually friendship evolve from common interests/pursuits and I don't push it but let them develop slowly.

[reply]
6/04/09

Stillthinking

What an odd question.

Are you talking about BC friends? Yes, I do. When I first joined, I friended everyone who friended me. Since then I have discovered this was unwise as I am inundated with broadcasts and shout box spam.

I have since then enacted a policy of friending only those members who have visited my blog, left a thoughtful comment, and left me a message introducing themselves with something other than "visited, please visit."

[reply]
1. 6/04/09
  
  jafabrit
  
  Oh, hum I wasn't thinking in terms of BC friends, because I don't view them as friends as much as fellow blogger acquaintances. I agree with your opinion.
2. 6/13/09
  
  footiam
  
  I wasn't thinking in terms of BC friends; but real friends whom you meet and can talk and relate too; anyway, your reply is most appreciated and I do understand and can relate to your views about BC friends.
3. 6/14/09
  
  IntoTheAzureSea
  
  I agree.
6/04/09

IntoTheAzureSea

While I choose my friends, I am quite appalled by how some people value friendship as an asset of convenience.

[reply]
1. 6/15/09
  
  footiam
  
  I guess in this case, one has to choose.
6/04/09

whineymomma

It depends on your definition of "friend" versus "acquaintance."

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6/04/09

lotusb

I think at some point we make choices about everything. The moment that we make this decison is usually so insignificant that we don't realize that we made and we assume that it all happened very naturally. However, if I choose who my friend won't be...(women who annoy me, men who just wanna get laid, people I don't find intellectually stimulating..) then of course I choose who my friends will be. I prefer to live my life with my eyes wide open.

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6/04/09

nothingprofound

I bump into people-at parties, in the street, in the library-we start talking and they become my friends. A year later, they've moved to Arizona or New Jersey and I never hear from them again. That's the way it is , and life rolls on.

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6/04/09

ArsenicCookies

Perhaps I am the odd woman out, I am highly selective with whom I consider to be an actual friend. I have aquaintences who have evolved through mutual interests or mutual friends, but do not consider them to be friends. I also have people who consider me a friend and I haven't a clue why. I guess though I am selective others tend to make the decision for be by inserting themselves in my life... for example I talked to a girl for maybe 30 minutes, next day she was all over my facebook, myspace, texting (no clue how she got the number) and inviting herself out with me... that happens a lot.

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6/05/09

archiegottlieb

yes.

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6/05/09

rfburnhertz

I can be friendly with anyone.

I do however choose who will allow to be an actual friend and be allowed some kind of knowledge or involvement in my everyday life.

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6/05/09

Friday13

I'm usually friendly to whoever I'm with (unless they're inherently hostile or just like to bother people for no reason).

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1. 6/05/09
  
  surveygirl46
  
  I like almost everyone --- in small doses. The people I choose to call friends are the ones who stop in without calling and entertain themselves while I do exactly what I was doing before they just stopped by; if they can do this -- then they're a true friend!! (I'm not talking about if we've made plans or whatever - then I'll do what I planned with them) I guess I do choose my friends because my closest ones are cracked like I am:)
6/14/09

evilsquirrel01

I'm really friendly and I talk to anyone. But after a few weeks, I have the tendency to distance myself from new acquaintances. So I guess I choose friends after a few days of getting to know them, not initially.

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6/14/09

AdolfoBlogs

Everyone chooses their friends.

No one is forced to be friends with anyone.

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6/14/09

boytrotters

I'll be friends with anyone, but have never been able to choose them. They usually choose me. I think this is 'cos I've never been able to make anyone actually like me unless they choose to do so.

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6/14/09

deviki

In life you have to choose your friends wisely some people say its rude but you have to ensure that the friends you make must be good people …..not only that they are your friends but also someone you can trust, help and respect you for how you are
So yeah you choose friends

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6/14/09

sisterofmercy

I try and be nice to everyone and then whoever is able to put up with me becomes my friend

I choose my friends to a certain extent, but only so I feel completely comfortable around them.

[reply]
1. 9/03/09
  
  footiam
  
  It's better that we are comfortable with friends.
6/14/09

thought

i mingle with everyone with affection, but choose my friends very, very carefully.

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6/14/09

witewood

No

[reply]
1. 7/04/09
  
  footiam
  
  That's very nice!
6/14/09

toothfairynotes

yes... I know a lot of ppl, but I don't have many friends.
Friendship is something special, I don't think you can have that kind of relationship with everyone.

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6/14/09

MadameX

I don't really give a lot of thought to putting labels on people and finding the precise dividing line between "friend" and "acquaintance" or trying to figure out whether some other label should apply to some people who might be somewhere in between. Every relationship is different and it evolves to be what it's going to be naturally. There are choices along the way as far as how much interaction I want with a given person or how much to share, but I really don't give any thought to whether or not to award the friendship pin.

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6/15/09

AlshimaaHelmy

I'm a little bit shy concerning starting friendships although I lack of friends all the time. So,I just try to be nice and friendly with people as possible as I can so that they could start instead of me..
But anyhows, nothing works LOL

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6/16/09

jeremylong

depends on the chemistry haha
not too much about selection, more about whether can be on same wavelength or not...

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1. 6/17/09
  
  footiam
  
  Sometimes, I choose people of the same wavelengths~
6/16/09

noodlemie

yes i do choose friends,and we have to be honest with each other.coz personally i hate 'twoface'people.

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1. 8/25/09
  
  footiam
  
  It's better to choose than to be the chosen one!
6/16/09

jaybetee (moderator)

even if you choose any Tom dick and harry, you are still choosing.

"You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but please don't pick your friend's nose!"

[reply]
1. 6/16/09
  
  boytrotters
  
  Bleh.
7/04/09

jahtenan

honestly, i do. my choosen friends must be honest people. that's all. simple right? but it isn't simple to become that one

[reply]
1. 7/04/09
  
  footiam
  
  I think that's smart, Jahtenan. This life is short and you won't want to spoil it with people who are not honest. I won't want that either!
7/04/09

Rivy

I agree with "nothingprofound". It's not a choice as in selecting a book to read or which movie to attend. It happens. A childhood friend may remain one for a lifetime. A chance meeting may lead to a new one. Bonds form. Bonds break. Circumstance.

[reply]
1. 7/16/09
  
  footiam
  
  I like the idea of friendship evolving!
2. 7/16/09
  
  AngieA
  
  you mean like coming in and out of your life?
  I think real friends stay close to you no matter what, or how far you are from them.
  Kind of like tight in spirit without saying a word.
8/12/09

SoftwareGal

I don't chose my friend at all but I "specify" them in my head based on my own MPAA rating. So while I am always smiling with everybody, joking around with all peers, please be informed that I sometimes can't share something with all body, and sometimes can't ask everybody to accompany me while shopping etc.

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8/12/09

XxJamberxX

I let people choose me to be their friend. As long as they don't annoy me or get into trouble I'll just go with the flow.

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8/12/09

Selvia

I dont believe in true friendship. I have wasted a lot of time and money wanting so much to be with friends but I realised that some friends take frienship for granted. Now I only have 2 real friends- my hubby and my son.

[reply]
1. 8/13/09
  
  footiam
  
  I can understand this!