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How to Sell Yourself to Others
Posted by Ryhen • 12/12/08 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: blogging, blogging tips, blogs, Internet Marketing, making money, personal development
*Mic test*, *mic test* Can they hear me? Ok, great!
Hello! Welcome to my workshop. Today, we are going to discuss this remarkable ability that highly successful people possess called “People Skills.”
If you consider yourself successful, please raise your hand. How many successful people are here? Ain’t that much, huh? Ok then, how many unsuccessful people are present, please raise your foot! Shocking! Wow, I can’t believe this!
My apologies for the lame ass intro. After spending several minutes trying to come up with a nice opening, I end up having this script to introduce this article about Success and People Skills. Blimey! Yeah, Alanis, isn’t that moronic? Anyway, I’d like to start this seriously by asking a simple question. “What makes us successful?”
With all the technological advancements happening around us, isn’t it that we sometimes fail to recognize that we need other people to contribute to our success. Once we step outside our front door, there are people outside and each one has a prospect for interaction. We can’t expect ourselves to be successful in our society if we don’t interact. Even if you’re just an internet addict and you choose to lock yourself up in your room with the company of your pc or, say, you rush your way to a coffee shop to start working on your laptop, you can’t escape the fact that you still have to intermingle with people either by email or chat (of course, you can include blogs, message boards, social networks, etc.). Let’s face it, so many kids today are spending all their time on Youtube, Facebook, PS 3, etc. that they neglect to learn simple skills to make them socially acceptable. How about adults? Oh my, don’t get me started.
Eight years ago, I found a book that belonged to my late grandfather. The title of the book is How to Sell Yourself to Others by Elmer Wheeler. It was first printed by the Dell Publishing Company in 1962. It’s old indeed, but the insight it contains is perpetual. No, it’s not about prostitution (you naughty little…). The book stresses that to be successful we must know how to deal with people because successful people know how to sell themselves to others. They know how to sell their ideas. They know how to get along with people. They know how to get people to do things they wanted done. The book discusses four main points. Each one is very simple. Let me explain it from a blogger’s perspective:
1. Don’t Make Them DRINK – Make Them THIRSTY!
“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink any more than you can lead a boy to the altar and make him say “yes” – without the proverbial shotgun in his ribs. How much better it is to make the horse thirsty, and make the boy want to say “yes,” and that is why this is our fundamental philosophy – our main point is to get along with others and sell yourself.”
When you come up to someone to ask a favor, you should keep in mind two things: first, if you attempt to make that person do anything, you are an idiot. You are going against the laws of human nature; second, the other person is a thousand times more interested in himself than he is in you. When I first joined my first social networking site, I didn’t have any clue to how the thing works. The first few moments after I created an account, I saw that a few people have already added me and were asking me to visit their blogs. I said to myself: “ok, I’m cool with that.” As days passed, I started to get annoyed because almost everyone is doing the same thing – asking other people to visit their website. I was like: “c’mon guys, all of us are too busy promoting our own sh*t! Why don’t you just concentrate on writing stuff instead of wasting your time posting shoutouts to every user you come into contact with?”
People will visit you when they feel like visiting. Yes, you can promote – just like what the marketing guys say, but don’t take it literally. If you are promoting your stuff to the wrong people, it’s a total waste of effort. Align yourself with groups that cater to your market and bug the people there. It’s sort of like fishing out at sea without any tracking equipment. If you are having trouble locating the fish, find out where the birds are feeding. Creating a need in people’s minds seems illogical if we’re talking about the internet, but since all of them are inside the web and all of them have pre-existing needs, you just need to figure out the places where they go to.
2. Don’t Sell An EMPTY Box!
“Grab bags often prove disappointing, so put something of real value in what you have to offer to others. The more you offer others, the more they flock to your way of thinking. You won’t get far offering less than you will receive, which is why this is our second way to make people like you.”
Similar to point 1, you won’t get regular visitors if you don’t have enough to offer on your blog or website. Sure you can lure them into giving you a few clicks, but what makes them come back is your blog’s content. If you are focused on a single subject, find out what makes people interested in that subject. I know it’s hard to create interesting posts. To be honest, I also struggle with this part quite a few times especially when I run out of coffee. Fill up your blog with good information, products, services, humor, stories, life changing experiences, notoriety, sodomy, or whatever subject you like (good and bad). As long you know your consumers will be satisfied, you’re well on your way to blog monetization survival.
3. Get In STEP With People!
“You may have them thirsty – and your bag is filled with value – but unless you get hep and get in step – you will not find a sale for yourself to your friends and others. Tune your thinking to others. Learn their interests, hobbies, ambitions – then swap them some of these things for something you want in exchange.”
People are busy. You have to accept that fact. Unless your blog has a good pagerank, you should not expect people to flock to your website. Imagine for a moment that you are on your way to work. While going to the bus stop, you see this gorgeous young lady standing right there where you are supposed to be waiting for the bus. As you get closer, you notice that she looks familiar. The wind suddenly blows to your direction which fortuitously allows her to gaze upon you. You look at each other and realize that you were old time friends. What’s more, you had a crush on her back in senior high (how cheesy this is… Jesus). So you have a little talk, but the bus finally arrives and she says that she has to go. You found out earlier that she works at the other side of the town, but now your male sex hormone is being too authoritative and is ordering you to ride the bus with her so that you could spend more time to chat. Do you “Get in step” by telling her you are heading her way even if it means that you’re going to be late at work or do you ask her to stay for a while and wait for the next bus? Trick question… just ask for her number, duh!
4. Make Them Part Of The ACT!
“If you want people to co-operate, give them a part in your show. Let them in on the “inside.” A person “left out in the cold” can’t get very enthusiastic about helping you. Change the “you” and “me” to a “we."
People who have had a little bit of success use the relationships they have established to work their way towards bigger communities. They don’t just ask people to do things for them. They ask people to help them do something that will benefit both of them and other people as well. Like I mentioned earlier, people are generally more interested in themselves. If you maintain a small website, for example, you can add a message board and ask your regular or most active readers to do moderation. This helps you save time in managing your site and allows your network of friends to promote their own identity.
Well, there it is. If you want the details, perhaps you can purchase the book. If you don’t want to spend money, however, there’s probably someone out there who has scanned the pages and turned it into an ebook. But let me ask you, what do you do to sell yourself to others?
Ryhen Satch
www.virtualsynapses.blogspot.com/
virtualsynapses.blogspot.com/2008/12/how-to-sell-yourself-to-others.html
User Comments
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Hi Ryhen,
Very interesting article. First I thought will read a few lines and leave but the way you have written made me read the whole thing. You really have the art of writing things in a very interesting way. Keep writing more interesting articles
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Sudhersana, thank you for your comment. i hope it it helped you in some way.
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i'm not a good speaker. i've been working at it ever since. i'm still working on my writing too. i won't stop until i'm satisfied, but i guess i'll never be satisfied so i will always have to work on it. that's just the way that it should always be, my friend. =)
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this deserved to be blogged -
Thanks Marti! Yes, that's true. You just don't go around selling people stuff then leave. Sometimes you need to buy them a beer as well. =)
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djgreetings1, what do you mean? =)
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thanks, gosmelltheflowers! hmm, checked your profile and i think we have something in common. hehe... keep in touch.
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thanks guys! always glad to help. =)
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yup
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I'd just like to say that I appreciate a non brevity inspired posting (being somewhat brevity challenged myself...okay, brevity inept is more like for me).
Strangely though, it was actually a rather brief statement by the great Dane Morgan on here a few weeks ago (I believe - my apologies if I'm attributing incorrectly) that I think summed it up rather nicely:
Want to get people to visit - answer the question "what's in it for me?"
Makes sense. Good work on the post. Always enjoy seeing a well thought out plan and I can tell there's some passion in that writing there.
P.S. can I put my hoof down now?
And didn't someone say something about leading me to water? -
hahaha... We'll I'm just happy to know that my first point made sense after all. I'm just tired of seeing shameless promotions everywhere I go.
I'm a hypocrite if I tell you I don't do it myself. The only difference is that I do it the "Smart" way. hehe
www.blogcatalog.com/group/smart-blogging-co
There are many good hearted people in here, but, like they say, there should always be a balance between good and evil. -
up you go...
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Just thought I'd share this new post...
Forget The 7 Habits… Here Are 30 Ways To Become Highly Effective
virtualsynapses.blogspot.com/2009/05/forget-7-habits-here-are-30-ways-to.ht... -
I love the way your words flow and are so easy to read. As you say, it's about giving and not always taking.
Thank you! -
I am oneliner writer so not very successfull but happily I can read more than one line and laugh at your whole stuff -
5. Write REALLY REALLY long OPs?-
I agree. Some constructive advice: maybe write a much shorter OP, then share the rest of your insights throughout your thread or on your blog. This one was simply too much gray text to wade through to hold my interest.
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Personally I just focus on my content. If I only effect a small number of people, but I effect them profoundly, then I feel I have done my job well. Plus it can't be a full-time job for me. -
Great stuff, man. It's also important to have a business card. Connecting with people in the real world does wonders.
www.surviveunemployment.com/free-business-cards-unemployed -
it's too long. i can imagine reading a pocketbook in this thread. -
I think the best way to sell yourself is to not sell yourself at all.
And allow people to find you because they where looking... -
awesome hypothesis -
Yep that's Ryhen my friend I do love marketing strategy and all that self promotion stuff -
"Once we step outside our front door..." But the tragedy is that many people use back door.
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